Hi Quaid,
I was recently diagnosed by my Pakistani Doctor with erectile disfunction. I am a 51 year old Caucasian bachelor. I am very well endowed according to my doctor, who is from Pakistan. He says I am in the top 98 percentile where my size is concerned. I am not sure if that is the Pakistan standard or the worldwide one.
He prescribed Viagra for my ED but he warned me that I should call if I started having erections that last more than 4 hours especially given my gargantuan size and all.
The first couple of weeks went pretty well. And my sexual stamina was amazing. Then one morning I was watching Fox and Friends' Allison Camerota and of course I was blessed with tremendous wood.
I didn't think very much of it until an hour had passed and my crotch was getting really hot and sweaty. I decided to take a little peek down there because it felt like my Johnson was going to burst.
I could not believe it. It was glowing a deep dark purple color and I could see it throbbing and pulsing all up and down the length of the shaft. I was feeling a little light headed so I put in a call to my doctor.
The nurse said the doctor had gone home to Pakistan for a vacation but she would put in a call to his pager. She suggested I try cold compresses and masturbation to relieve the pressure but if it did not subside I should head to the emergency room. She said that given the enormity of my schlong I ran the risk of having a stroke if I didn't restore normal blood flow to the rest of my body within a few hours.
I was recently diagnosed by my Pakistani Doctor with erectile disfunction. I am a 51 year old Caucasian bachelor. I am very well endowed according to my doctor, who is from Pakistan. He says I am in the top 98 percentile where my size is concerned. I am not sure if that is the Pakistan standard or the worldwide one.
He prescribed Viagra for my ED but he warned me that I should call if I started having erections that last more than 4 hours especially given my gargantuan size and all.
The first couple of weeks went pretty well. And my sexual stamina was amazing. Then one morning I was watching Fox and Friends' Allison Camerota and of course I was blessed with tremendous wood.
I didn't think very much of it until an hour had passed and my crotch was getting really hot and sweaty. I decided to take a little peek down there because it felt like my Johnson was going to burst.
I could not believe it. It was glowing a deep dark purple color and I could see it throbbing and pulsing all up and down the length of the shaft. I was feeling a little light headed so I put in a call to my doctor.
The nurse said the doctor had gone home to Pakistan for a vacation but she would put in a call to his pager. She suggested I try cold compresses and masturbation to relieve the pressure but if it did not subside I should head to the emergency room. She said that given the enormity of my schlong I ran the risk of having a stroke if I didn't restore normal blood flow to the rest of my body within a few hours.
Repeated masturbation and cold compresses seemed to work but it took more than an hour. I was 2 hours late for work. My boss warned me that I better not be late again or I would be fired.
The very next day, it happened again. Just as before Allison Camerota came on and BOING! I was blessed with another super-erection. This time I didn't wait for the one-eyed-purple-monster to appear before beginning masturbation and cold compresses. I immediately got busy and within 45 minutes or so, I was back to normal.
I went on to work not thinking anything of Allison Camerota or the potential of another massive boner until about 10:00. Harriet Kuntz, the office skank, poked her head into my cubicle to ask if I was going to attend the birthday party for Frank Shearer that afternoon. Strangely, I noticed an obscure but uncanny resemblance to Allison Camerota. Granted, Allison Camerota has all her teeth, doesn't have tits that look like stretched out tube socks, and isn't a skank like Harriet Kuntz, nevertheless, I became quite rigid.
It kind of pissed me off because Harriet Kuntz is not just a skank but a super-skank who is as nasty as an alley-dwelling crank whore (see attached photo). At any rate, there I was with this raging hard-on, and I was supposed to go to a meeting at 10:30.I decided to tame the wild beast right there in my cubicle in order to make it to my meeting on time. At some point during the next ten minutes, my boss walked in...
Of course he was taken aback by the idea of me polishing the helmet right there at my desk and he fired me on the spot. I tried to explain that I was flogging the bishop at the request of my Pakistani doctor. He would not hear of it.
He called security and had me escorted me off the premises, still sporting a throbbing, blood filled chubby. I was having trouble driving home in the shape I was in so I had to pull over on the highway spank the monkey a couple more times.
The down side of this whole mess is that now in the mornings when Allison Camerota comes on I can't get the sleazy image of Harriet Kuntz out of my head. It kinda takes the fun out of my morning wood if you know what I mean
I still masturbate at home and at my new job as necessary, I am just not enjoying it as much. I am considering quitting the pills at this point but I don't want to lose my edge.
I sent an email to Allison Camerota and told her the whole story. I asked her if she would send me some nude photos of herself in hopes that I can shake the whole Harriet Kuntz /Allison Camerota connection. In the meantime I will be watching Laurie Dhue instead. I also told her I am hung like a donkey and asked if she would tell Laurie Dhue about me.
This morning I was on the web and I ran across some up-skirt photos of Fox and Friends’ Gretchen Carlson. You guessed it, BOING! Needless to say, my new boss caught me and Rosy getting down in my cubicle. She told me to take the rest of the week off without pay. She says he wants me to bring a note from a doctor before returning to work.
The problem is my doctor, who is from Pakistan, was killed by an IUD while he was on vacation in Islamabad and he is not going to be able to write me a note. I called his nurse but apparently she burned all the medical records and skipped town with the cashbox upon his death. I really don’t want a stranger examining my tool especially since it’s so darn large. Should I just look for a new job?
Darrell Dixon
Nashville Tennesee.
Darrell my friend,
I suggest you go in and have a man to woman conversation with your boss about the whole situation. Show her your obviously substantial meat pole if you think it might help make your case. Just explain it to her just like you did to me. She might be able to recommend a good doctor.
When you do find a new doctor that you feel like you can trust to handle your German soldier, you might ask him about switching your prescription from Viagra to Cialis. Viagra is a very aggressive erectile dysfunction treatment where Cialis is a little tamer. You might also consider taking your pills in before bedtime instead of first thing in the morning. That’s what I do.
As far as masturbating in the work place goes, I recommend making a concealment appliance of some sort. I used to use a metal lunch box with a glory hole bored in the end. No one in the lunch room had any idea I was fisting my mister. You might also find a buddy at your new job who can stand watch for you whenever the need should arise.
Good Luck.
QD
