Reconstructive Surgery on the Cheap

Quaid,
I need some legal advice I am half way through a sex change operation. My gay lover William, whom I have been seeing off and on for the past 2 years, I first met when he was a straight married man. We became fast friends after meeting in a local sports bar. We slammed about 10 shots a piece. He was having a spat with his spouse and was on a drinking binge. I too was on a drinking binge having just been ousted by my Latino lover. One thing led to another and we ended up in a motel across the street from the bar.

The next 8 weeks went by at light speed. William left his wife and moved into my beach house. We were in love. Over time William began to drift away from me. I started noticing that he was eyeing women when ever we would go out. It was very difficult but I managed to finally get him to tell me what was wrong. He told me that everything about me was wonderful except that he really liked breasts. He didn’t know how much longer he could do without. I really wasn’t crazy about the Idea but I finally agreed to have a sex change. William was thrilled.

For the first six months of my therapy he was a genuine doll. About the time I had my penis removed and my breasts had reached their pre-determined size, my former Latino lover returned to the area and began harassing William. After several violent confrontations, Julio and William agreed to sit down and discuss the problem over dinner. Everything seemed to be working out fine until one day I came home to find Julio and William, who was wearing my favorite negligee, making love in my bed. I immediately threw William and his things out of my house and I called the immigration and naturalization authorities and Julio was soon deported.

The problem is : I don’t want to be a woman anymore. Do I have adequate grounds for a law suit? Can I get My penis put back on? I have kept it in the freezer with hopes of having it re-attached someday.

Pat Wilson
San Francisco, CA

Pat, my unfortunate friend, I was once knew a guy who was sued by his gay, partially transsexual, lover in an Arizona court. The case was promptly thrown out and the penis-less plaintiff had to leave town.

Several years later they were reunited via the classified ads in a fetish magazine. My associate learned that the plaintiff had gone to Mexico and checked into a sleazy clinic where he subsequently had a replacement penis fashioned out of a part of his overly large buttocks, and a teflon rod.

So not only did he get his penis back, he was able to have some of the unsightly fat removed from his buttocks. If I were you I would search the Internet for a similar Mexican clinic where you can have this procedure performed. It is probably pretty cheap.

Good luck and warm wishes,
QD